Published Sept. 9, 2005
Children can be lured by someone asking for help
Over the past 30 years, criminologists and psychologists who deal with child abusers have been collecting data about how abusers think and act. This growing body of information can help us keep children safe.
Abusers tell us that one of the most successful lures they use is that of asking for help.
Abusers pretend to be helpless and vulnerable. Ted Bundy was famous for using a phony cast, a canoe and his van. He would wear the cast and approach a young woman who was alone. Being a handsome, clean cut and pleasant-looking person, he did not appear capable of harming her.
Saying he needed help, he would lure the victim close to the van, claiming that he couldn’t get the canoe on top of it without her. When she was close, he would knock her out and abduct her.
Bundy’s victims were adult women. They were lured by the charming and apparently harmless young man who approached them.
Children are vulnerable to the same approach. For example, an abuser might use the ploy of asking for directions. Children need to know to stay away from direction-seekers. Children can, while maintaining a safe distance from the person making the request, say something like: "I’m not good at directions. You need to ask an adult."
Abusers tell us that one of the best approaches to use with a child or teenager is telling them that they have lost a pet.
Young people want to be helpful. They sympathize with the person who has lost a pet. Often the abuser uses a photograph of a cute animal to strengthen the lure. Who can resist the cuddly puppy? Even children who would normally not be approachable by an adult they don’t know have been fooled by this tactic.
In general, children should be taught that adults need to ask other adults for help. It is not normal for adults to ask children, especially children they don’t know, for assistance.
Children need to be wary of these requests and put their own personal safety first.